Agent Steel – “No Other Godz Before Me” Review

To review “No Godz Before Me” from Agent Steel I will be quoting the Cher song “Believe”

NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY…

I cannot ignore that I’m looking at one of the worst albums covers ever. Hard to imagine an entire band looking at this cover and thinking “Oh Yeah, this is it!!!” unless they suffer from genetic mental disorder. It looks like a mistake, a very low budget shot of headlights of a car coming your way, and believe me, while listening to this album you might start wishing a car would come your way… or Agent Steel’s way. Aaand… there is no immediate graphic connection to the chosen title of “No Other Godz Before Me.” Not a good starter.

YOU KEEP PUSHING ME ASIDE AND I CAN’T BREAK THROUGH…

Agent Steel’s discography is scarce, absent and sometimes hard to find. Of course I wouldn’t mind for this album to become hard to find, mostly because of the number of cases of people throwing this album to the trash due to migraines, miscarriages and auditory hallucinations. Not a way to break through the metal world.

THERE IS NO TALKING TO YOU…

Not with those vocals. These vocals are the twisted thorn between your ribs. The mosquito in your pee hole. If Cher decides to sing in a thrash metal band, she would sound like this. Robotic effect and all. John Cyriis’s vocals sound like two cats fucking with a wah pedal in between their sexual organs. Pitch shifter, annoying harmonizer, sometimes a scratch on the chalk board, sometimes a wobbly monster chocking on a potato salad. It ruined this album beyond repair.

IT’S SO SAD THAT YOU’RE LEAVING, IT TAKES TIME TO BELIEVE IT.

You might get used to this album for some hopeful and yet masochistic reason. The music is not bad. It still offers generic speed and thrash levels deep enough to drown those horny squeaky cats trying to fuck while you sleep. Instrumentally you will find: guitars evoking thrash metal during the late 80s, a bass that cannot be heard under the mix (surprise, surprise) and the drums are a little bit too high in the mix, but not at the point of annoyance.

BUT AFTER ALL IS SAID AND DONE, YOU’RE GONNA BE THE LONELY ONE…

Agent Steel’s music has never been bigger than life but they still fight with everything they’ve got to deliver good metal. They better come up with a master piece after this joke of an album or they can also go fuck each other with a wah pedal in the alley. 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER LOVE?

Not as it is.

I REALLY DON’T THINK YOU’RE STRONG ENOUGH

No… sorry Agent Steel.

Agent Steel: Homepage, Facebook, Spotify

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